21.

Life's a perfect natural disaster.

People like ma famille, mes amis & mon ami complete my life.
Without them, it just doesn't seem perfectly natural anymore.

It'll be a disaster.

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this post might be a wordy one.

so here goes.

its been a while since i last pondered about situations; why did they happen? what caused it to turn out that way? what if things were the opposite way they are now? etc.

its true that everything happens for a reason. the individuals will be the ones deciding whether they should accept what happened for what it is. those in denial, may never feel satisfied with life just because they refuse to accept reality.

i envy strong-willed people. i envy people who clings on to faith although they are in desperate need of help.
me. i just hope a lot. but nothing comes out of it. okay maybe something but i wish to do something major. god knows what right.

anyway.

i started to let my mind run wild for 2minutes while i was on the way home in the bus earlier tonight.
i thought what if the bus driver felt sleepy and drove towards the opposite road. surely it'll be a catastrophe.
and then will all hell break loose.

the things i do when im bored.

some people may not like me because of the way i bring myself.
and i've felt that way ever since i was a kid.
i may seem tough and rough but.
there's a handful of people who knows me best.
i can cry at the slightest things. which is a very silly and childish thing to do.
i can laugh at the lamest jokes. but its quite healthy to just laugh randomly.
i will also cry when im frustrated or angry. and never talk to me when im angry because i'll take it as if there's no one there talking to me.
i know its annoying but hey, im trying to slowly change myself. slowwwwlllyyy.

sometimes i can be very self-conscious.
sometimes i just dont care.
most of the time i let nature take its course.
most of the time i try to do something that puts others before me but i end up not feeling fully satisfied.
most of the time i think im asking for too much things.
most of the time i feel that i put friends before family.

to some people, i may seem like the most kindest soul one could ever meet.
to others, i may seem the opposite. someone just trying to fit in.



i guess i just a need a break.
i need to smell nature.
i need to hear myself think.
things are not that bad.
but my brain in telling my body that its tired.

and i guess i just need you to be there until i fall asleep.