21.

Life's a perfect natural disaster.

People like ma famille, mes amis & mon ami complete my life.
Without them, it just doesn't seem perfectly natural anymore.

It'll be a disaster.

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uurgggh.

i feel so sick.
i feel like puking. i feel nauseous.
i feel so light-headed.
but seriously, i feel like puking.

anyway.
i'll be working this weekend. like, whoopee!
only thing is, i dont know when's my pay coming in.
i want to ask but im new. so im afraid they'd think, you know.
okay nevermind if you dont get it.
im going to ask, anyway.

oh. im constipating too.
because the results for school aplication is nearing.
oh my god.

in the meantime, while waiting for prisonbreak to load.
lets do this.

Year 2001

How old were you?
13.

Where did you go to school?
east spring sec.

Where did you work?
i didnt have a job.

Where did you live?
tampines.

Where did you hang out?
void deck. tmart. dee's place. hahaa

How was your hair style?
i had long hair when i was in lower sec. i started cutting my hair upper sec onwards.

Did you wear braces?
nopes.

Did you wear glasses?
sometimes.

Who was your regular-person crush?
hmm. not someone from school.

How many tattoos did you have?
none.

How many piercings did you have?
one on each ear.

What car did you drive?
no car dey.

What was your favorite band/group:
those punk rock groups. believe me. lol.

Worst fear?
failing my maths. heee.

Gotten drunk?
nahh.

Had you driven yet?
no laa.

Had you been arrested?
nope.

Had you been to a real party yet?
nope.

Had your heart broken?
nope.

HA HA HA ! LET SEE WHAT YOU ARE NOW !
_______________________________________
___

2007

How old are you?
turning 19.

What grade are you in?
waiting for hnitec.

school?
used to study in ite simei.

Where do you work?
skateline.

Where do you live?
STILL TAM-PINES BAYBEH.

Where did you hang out?
anywhere and everywhere.

Do you have braces?
nope.

Do you wear glasses?
supposed to. ahahah.

Still talk to any of your old friends?
yes. and its still strong.

Who is your celebrity crush?
i've got to say it's gary dourdon. WEEEE

How many piercings do you have?
one on each ear. still. =)

How many tattoos?
none. STILL.

What kind of car do you have?
no car. =((

What is your favorite band/group?
i listen to any kinds of music.

What is your biggest fear?
the almighty.

Have you gotten drunk?
nah.

Have you been arrested since if so how
many times total?
nope.

Has your heart been broken?
yeah.

ah. finally.
it's working.

so on sunday, i had to call in sick for work.
i think those bedbugs took control of my body system for a few days.
it got worse on sunday uh. because i showed my mum then she freaked.
hahaha.
so we went to the doctor's.
given an injection. like, WOOWEEE!!!
i didnt bath for two days dey. CANT bath, more like it.

but the itching has toned down now. thanks to the calamine lotion! *insert powerpuff narrator's voice*
haha. then i was given two types of pills.
doctor prescribed me to the drowsy ones.

then on monday morning, i was awakened by a phone call from dee. hahaha.
and i thought it was only 9am. when it was 11.
so we yakkityyakked and 'waahhhk waaaahhhkkk! heheehehehehehe.
then after we hung up, i called my mum to ask if i could take a bath. i couldnt.
so i just washed my body, face and brushed my teeth.
in the afternoon, met the bf for awhile.
when i got home, i dont know why i felt so light-headed. i dozed for a mere 10minutes or less.
dillah called to meet.

so yeah.

today, IS RIDHWAN'S BDAY. hahaha. as well as the birth of RIDDY JR.
hahah. riddy jr so adorable!

and practically the whole day i was stuck in front of the computer watching prisonbreak 2. heeee.

so erm.
im feeling very hot now.
and i hope to fall asleep soon.
after taking the pills.
because i want to take them.

kay bye.

im sorry but i really cant help it. heheh.

i was bloghopping.
and i came across this guy's blog.
it was.. i dont know how to describe it.
but it seemed like we have been in that situation before.

was that how you felt? is that how you're feeling?

i've always known i love you. i gave up at one point, but i know i still love you.
up till now.
i may not show that im head over heels for you since we got together, but i really am.
for all those times i've let you down, i'm sorry.
dont think i did it on purpose, because i've got much better things to do rather than disappointing the people i love.

maybe i should continue with some talking.
because i would want to talk to you.

i just hope you're with me not because you want to forget someone or i remind you of someone.

okay.

i worked on cny's holidays. and the sight at ecp was lined up with tents.
the bike shop was so busy on sunday.
skateline was alright uh. not too busy, not too boring. but yesterday was damn boring.
got hongbao from vivian and j on sunday. hehehe.
and then on monday, me and aloy got hongbao from a stranger. who was sitting at our shop benches.

and for the first time in idontknowhowmanyyears, i fell while on skates.
funny incident uh. i went skating after work on sunday. hahaha.
now i have a bruise on my knee oozing out pus. eew, i know.

and hooray, i'll be going out this friday! heeee.
been a while since i last had fun, other than work that is.
because if i dont have work, i'll be at home.
if im at work, the fun is different. =)

i went to rp last thursday. to apply for the courses there.
just as i thought about sitting somewhere after i was out of rp, it rained. i had no choice but to go home.
been a while since i last went out alone.
it may sound scary to some, but im so used to it.
heh.

so anyway, GNARLS BARKLEY ROCK. hahaha.

actually. im tired uh.
very.
tired of thinking, waiting, asking, answering, listening. however, i dont want to give up.
i was never tired of smiling and laughing. hahah.
i was never tired of trying to care for people, to make them smile, to make them laugh, to make them happy.
but sometimes my actions werent loud enough. and i guess they thought i didnt care.
and sometimes i'd lie to make people feel better. but it doesnt make me feel good though. hehe.
there are people who take their friends or whoever for granted.
there are people who treasure every single bond they made.

talking about friends.
i have a bunch of friends whom i've known for seven years now. never thought we'd actually go this far. heh.
thats why they say you'll never know friends until you realise who's down for you.
somehow or rather, they know me like how my parents know me.
they saw me laugh, cry, how i vent my anger, my sillyness. how i change, grow. did i grow? hahaha. please say yes. askjhg;lash
yeah.
and i hope they remember the ex bf who suddenly broke up with me; and notice how i seemed to not bother about the situation. i didnt cry but i was very sad at that point of time.
heeh.
i hated to get involved in relationships after that incident and they helped me move on.
weeee! hahaah.
i hated love which involved boys. lol.
seven years of friendship, and i hope it lasts till the day i die.

i have a bunch of friends. i also have a bf.
whom i've known for 3years now. been with him for 15months.
things were complicated. things are complicated.
he taught me how to fall in love. hah.
again, somehow or rather, he knows me like how my parents know me.
and i hope it lasts till the day i die too.

these people is equivalent to love. apart from my family that is.
okay thats it! haha.
a tad too serious already.

OI! WHERE'S MY PAY? hehee.
my hongbao money is left with 43bucks dey. make it 44.
then i'll be 310bucks richer when i get my pay. i think its 310. oh wells.
pay day, pay day!

shit laa. i hate it when this happens. my lungs hurt when i take a breath.
and i have a light migraine.
probably from watching too much whose line is it anyway. hahaha.
and american dad and family guy.

kay im off to continue watching whose line!

have you ever lived in the past,
yet you're in the future?

the way you felt in the past still linger.
yet you try to erase everything away.
but it was just too painful.
you remember them like they happened yesterday.

you make an effort to tell how you felt.
and how you're feeling.
but you never get the chance to.
and when you can, you just cant.

so have you?

lol. so much for "not going to be blogging much", shak.

kay that's all for tonight.

... it feels so shitty,
you cant talk about it.
you cant help it and then you cry.

i wonder how you can stay this way.
not letting anyone know the truth,
but let them feel what its like...
to feel how you're feeling.

you dont blame anyone.
because they have their own lives to think about.
you dont want to trouble them..
so you always end up walking alone.
still you dont mind..
because you dont want people to know.

it comes back down to the same things.
... it feels so shitty,
you cant talk about it.
you cant help it and then you cry.

ENGINEERING GEREK!

the classmates. 3 in the middle are wan cinone, ummal and wan bdb. this is only half of the clique uh. haha.

the refreshments were bad. hahah. serious.

we planned to hang out after the ceremony. so azwan, yan, ahnaf, ariff, ummal and myself headed to mcafe at the interchange for lunch. hafiz joined us moments after we reached.

ended up only me, ahnaf, yan, ariff and hafiz spent the whole day outside together. but it was fun laa.



i swear i didnt notice ariff posing with that bottle until i uploaded the pictures today.
hahaha.

okay.

im not shure about how much my pay is going to be, but i calculated and it was a nice sight. hahaha. at least i have a sufficient amount to save as well as spend.
heh.

kay bye.

first and foremost,
GRADUATION WAS AWESOME!!
heh. i'll post pictures perhaps tomorrow? or monday. or tuesday.
see how uh. i'll be working till monday.
probably be dead tired uh.

so yeah.

i'd just like to voice out my opinion on people who pester someone they hate.
okay.
in the first place, if you hate the person why would you bother to pester them?
and in the end, you fuckingly say the person you hate talks shit about you. haha.
i mean, come on laa. dont be a fucktard, can? it's just something childish uh.
you hate the person, then let them be laa. you're making the situation worse by making the hated person start to hate you.
carik pasal, kan? tak ke stupid?
talks can be full of sarcasm. so can it be filled with facts.
and sarcasm sometimes come along with facts.
so, why choose to be sarcastic when you can say it up front? you're going to end up hurting someone's feelings what.
to the haters out there, think before you start pestering the hated.
seriously, i dont see the point in hating. like w.t.f uh. *shrugs*

okay. thats all uh.
i'll update a long one soon.

if you get that,
then what do i get?

Far away
The ship is taking me far away
Far away from the memories
Of the people who care if I live or die

Starlight
I will be chasing the starlight
Until the end of my life
I don't know if it's worth it anymore

Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold
You in my arms

My life
You electrify my life
Let's conspire to ignite
All the souls that would die just to feel alive

muse is the band. heh.
anyways.

work was alright. i had to stay till seven. when i actually knocked off already. blergh.
no big deal actually.

so today, i went out the parents. =))) ahahaha
i bought stuffs for my grad this thursday. including two other tops. heh.
then thats it uh. lazy to go into details.

oh. im currently using my mum's phone.
wopodeh!!!

gawd. you guys should really listen to lush sia. im like addicted to down-tempo music.
i know i dont drink uh but i really want to go cafe del mar.
cb uh if i have a car i think i'll be among the first few people to go there. ahha. serious.
dont care laa if i go alone. heheh.
i know everyone's busy with their own stuffs. haha.

next on the playlist is armin van buuren. heheh.

okay i shall stop here.

i kept bruising myself these days. by accident.

nonetheless, i've been good.
and miss rai, i'm trying my best not to be emo, hokay. haha. thank you very much.
what is emo anyway?

but.
i ponder upon these quesions, though.
im just thinking generally, here. no personal matters involved.

do you think we're too young to know what love really is?
then again, we're getting old to know what to plan for our future. so do you think we really know what love is, since we're growing older?
why do people regret? why would they do something and know they will regret soon after?
how does telling the truth helps? truth hurts, lies hurt more. but if you tell someone the truth, would he/she be able to accept it? if he/she does, thank god. but if he/she doesnt, what do you think they'd do? leave you or continue being friends with you?
and. why do people cheat? in any way.
i've cheated in exams before, and i've been cheated.
is it a retribution because i cheated in my exams? i dont think so actually. so why do you think people cheat?

maybe all these questions just boils down to the individual itself, yeah?

i know kind souls live in this world.
they would do anything just as long as they dont hurt someone's feelings. but most of the time, people take advantage of kindness. people take advantage of weak individuals.
weak individuals = perfect prey.
and the perfect prey = women.
men, arent all the same. likewise for women.
well.
im spewing nonsense, right? hahah.

so yeah.
i went out with the sister today.
went shoe and slippers hunting at city plaza.
i bought a pair of flats at tiptoe. heh. for grad siaks.
i'll be working on the weekends. tomorrow forgot what time uh. hahah. =/so i shall come at 10am.
then perhaps take a day off on monday, try to go find a white vest at bugis for grad.
and then work on tuesday and wednesday. take a day off on thursday.
perhaps work again for the weekends.
my pay will be on the 20th of every month.
=)

oh. my mum got a new phone. se k610i. like, okay uh.
upgraded her line.
i hope to get a new phone for myself too. next 2 months maybe?
i plan to save at least half my pay.
i want to take car license laa siaks. heh.
very ambitious eh, shak. ahah.

guess thats all.

used the mama's new phone. heh.